Growing Apart…

About a year ago, me and my best friend of two years fell out, in one huge, spiteful, argument. I was distraught, especially because as far as I had been concerned everything had been fine between us. All that had happened was that we had grown apart, but that can be harder for some people to grasp than others.

Growing apart is something that happens to almost everyone. I’m sure most of us can name at least one person who we used to be close to but who we no longer hang out with, even though there was no big event or argument to cause the split. It’s natural, especially as teenagers when we’re all constantly changing and growing. I know if I think back to when I started high school, I am a very different person now to who I was then, so it makes sense that who I get on best with will have changed as well.

What can be difficult though, is when you, or the other person, are not aware of the simple process of growing apart, so begin to come up with things that someone must have done wrong in order to justify the distance. In my case, my ‘best friend’ started to blame me for things that I either hadn’t done, or that wouldn’t normally bother her, and that hurt, let me tell you! I began to feel so much guilt and shame for the way I had acted, even though deep down I knew I wasn’t in the wrong, and I’m sure deep down she knew the same, but since there seemed to be no other explanation for the separation between us, the blame game continued.

The main reason I am writing this post, is to simply make others aware of what a natural thing growing apart with someone is. I know first hand the pain that can be caused when people are not aware of this, so by sharing my experience I hope to make at least one persons life a little bit easier.
However, if you are going through this – where a close relationship of yours is gradually getting more and more distant – do not worry. All that is happening is that one or both of you are growing and changing as people, and there are people out there who are much better suited to you, who you will naturally gravitate towards in no time at all. I know it is hard at the moment, trust me I’ve been there, but the friends I have now are the best, most understanding people I’ve met and I would have never became closer to them if I hadn’t grown apart from certain people.

While I was in the middle of it I could not understand why God would put me through that kind of suffering, but now I am safely on the other side of that storm, it is clear to see that He knew who I needed in my life and who I didn’t. I am so much more happy, confident and able to be myself with my new friends and I cannot imagine myself still stuck in those old relationships. 

So, a quick conclusion: 

1. Growing apart with people is a part of life; it is not anyone’s fault and there is  no need to blame people
2. If you are going through it: you are not alone, and there are people much better suited to you just waiting to meet you
3. This is all part of God’s plan and though it is hard now, it will all be worth it later

Thank you so much for reading this blog post, it was much more serious and personal than my other posts so far but I hope you enjoyed it and that it was helpful to someone. If you are struggling with this issue, or any other for that matter, please please please feel free to contact me – I would absolutely love to talk to anyone who wants to chat. 

I hope to see you on my next post!

Judanna xo

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